Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
