I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
