If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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