ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You smell like stripper and shame
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
