dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She announced her abortion via fbk
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
