I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
