One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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