Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
