At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
