There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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