Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
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i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
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Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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