if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
