well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
