there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
