I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You work out of a Hotel?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize