wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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