no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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