I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
