I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
