after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
