I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
