So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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