Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Come on in and take your pants off
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