my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Watching her eat just hurts me
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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