You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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