i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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