...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You ruined the universe
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
