when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
