Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
