Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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