You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
