So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
