She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
