lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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