My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize