dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
