do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
