I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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