I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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