Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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