Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Small penises have feelings too.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
