So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
