coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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