Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Every concussion has its silver lining
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize