I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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