Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
