dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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