Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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