I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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