ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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