He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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