can u get pink eye on your cock?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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