I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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