What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I want her autograph on my taint
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
