found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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