they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
