youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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