Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
