i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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