my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
