He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
