Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
