we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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