just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
